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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29575824">The Best Thing That's Ever Been Mine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheekyhobbit/pseuds/cheekyhobbit'>cheekyhobbit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Evermore (Season 5/6 Rewrite) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dawson's Creek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5x04 deleted scenes, F/M, Jacey - Freeform, P/Jo, Pacey/Joey one shot, Poey, Rewriting season 5, The Long Goodbye, What should have happened after Mitch's funeral</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:21:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,083</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29575824</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheekyhobbit/pseuds/cheekyhobbit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A one-shot of Pacey and Joey heading back to Boston after Mitch's funeral. Set in episode 5x04 (between Dawson and Pacey talking on the side of the road and before Joey gets back to her dorm room and talks to Audrey).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joey Potter/Pacey Witter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Evermore (Season 5/6 Rewrite) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2197224</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Best Thing That's Ever Been Mine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Do you remember all the city lights on the water</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em><br/>
</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em>You saw me start to believe for the first time</em>
  </b>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>The road zipped past them in a blur as they drove through dark blue twilight. Pacey’s headlights lit up the road in front of them, and he kept his hands steady at ten and two. Sparing a brief glance for Joey, he saw her with her cheek in her hand, elbow resting on the sill, eyes downcast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Talk to me, Joey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About what?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked over at her again, and for a moment, she met his gaze. Her expression was drawn, the dark shadows under her eyes visible in the fading light.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just keep your eyes on the road, Pacey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Miss Daisy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>From the corner of his eye, he caught the glimmer of a smile before Joey sighed, closing her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just...I feel so helpless. When my mom died, Dawson was there for me. In those dark days, when I needed him the most, he was right there. I guess I always thought that someday I’d be there for him in the same way. But I’ve been doing everything I can think of to help him, and he doesn’t even want to be in the same room as me.” Joey blinked back tears. She knew Pacey probably didn’t want to hear this, but she couldn’t stop talking, and he’d always been a good listener. Besides, he was the one who’d insisted on giving her a ride back to Boston. He’d made his own bed right now. “I don’t know how to make him feel better. And that’s scary, because I always thought I would. I thought our connection ran so deep that even with everything we’ve gone through in the past couple of years, that when push came to shove, I’d know how to help him, and that he’d welcome my help. And he doesn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not your fault, Jo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. Logically, I know that. But it feels like it is. Because if you and I hadn’t gotten so close, maybe Dawson and I would be better friends.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pacey’s knuckles tightened around the steering wheel. “Do you regret it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turned her head. “Being with you?” Her voice softened. “No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pacey couldn’t help looking at her then, a quick glance before he returned his eyes to the road, as aware as Joey was now of how quickly accidents could happen. But he looked at her for long enough to see the sincerity on her face, and knew that she meant what she’d said. Pacey exhaled slowly, staring at the straight road ahead. He could feel Joey’s eyes on him as he drove, those beautiful doe eyes that made his heart hammer inside his chest and his stomach fill with butterflies. He was kidding himself if he’d ever thought he’d gotten over her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what it’s worth, if I was in Dawson’s position, you’re the only person I would want in the room with me,” he told her honestly. He would want her there to comfort him, to hold his hand, rub his back, wrap her arms around him and hold him close. In her arms, he’d have the strength to fall apart, because he knew that she'd always be able to put him back together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joey picked at a loose thread on her shirt. “I just wish I could repay him that debt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you ever think friendship shouldn’t be like that?” he asked softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A series of debts to be repaid? I mean, you can’t sit down and tally up every good thing Dawson has done for you, versus every good thing you’ve done for him, to try and decide who comes out on top, or who owes each other what. Even if you did, you can’t quantify that stuff, Joey. Who decides what means more, which moments or gestures are worth more? Him sitting with you for hours after your mom died, watching movies and holding your hand, that meant the world to you. But that was...I don’t want to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>easy </span>
  </em>
  <span>for him, but it didn’t require him to over-extend himself beyond what he’d usually be prepared to do. Which is not a criticism of Dawson, so don’t look at me like that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And how exactly am I looking at you?” she demanded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I don’t know, because I’m keeping my eyes on the road as directed,” he replied, suppressing a smile. “But I think I know you well enough to know that you’re giving me the stink eye right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not giving you the stink eye.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I think you are.” Joey thumped him on the arm, and Pacey laughed. He still didn’t look at her, but he knew she was smiling. “That’s great, Jo. That’s really going to help with my safe driving.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reality hit her again like a stone wall, and Joey felt tears spring into her eyes. “I’m going to miss Mitch so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When my mom died, and I needed someone for comfort, I gravitated towards the Leerys. Their house always felt so safe and secure. There was always food in the cupboards and his parents were so in love, while my own family was falling apart around me.” She sighed. “When I was around them, I felt okay. Like I could somehow hijack part of their normal life and not be such a freak.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not a freak.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I felt like a freak.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s just something else you and I had in common.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joey smiled sadly. “You know what I keep wondering? What if you and I had been better friends back then? What if I’d gone to you instead of Dawson for comfort after I lost my mom?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pacey raised his eyebrows. “I don’t think thirteen-year-old me would’ve been any use to you, Jo. I’d probably have spent the entire time making inappropriate fart jokes in a desperate attempt to cheer you up. Nor could I have provided any kind of family normality,” he added wryly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wish…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waited for her to continue talking. After almost a minute, he spoke. “You just wish what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That I’d cared about you more back then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pacey frowned. “Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because nobody else seemed to. Nobody really paid any attention to you, and the fact that you came through all that and turned out to be the amazing guy that you are is honestly incredible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Joey, I think you’re giving me too much credit here. And let’s not forget that you and I drove each other crazy in middle school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And as a result, I cut myself off from you. I shut you out of Dawson’s house at every opportunity, wanting his friendship all for myself, and I never saw what was going on in your home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pacey’s stomach clenched. He forced himself to exhale, and loosened his tightening grip on the wheel. “Nobody did,” he said, trying to keep his voice light. “That was kind of the point.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone should have.” She was getting angry now. He could tell from the way her voice had become deeper and huskier, could hear that surly undertone that always came up when she talked about his parents, her frustration with them barely contained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dawson knew some of it,” he said, trying to bring the conversation back to their friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How much?” she asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Very little, truth be told. Mostly because Pacey had tried to hide it from him. Dawson’s perfect parents and perfect life had been an escape for Pacey, as well. Sometimes when he’d spent time at the Leery house, he’d pretend that Mitch was his real father, that Dawson was his brother, that Gale saw him as a son in the same way he knew she saw Joey as a daughter. He’d lie on Dawson’s bedroom floor, trying to imagine that he had a bed of his own in that room, pretending that he’d grown up in that house, with parents who thought their kid was the most amazing kid in the world. Looking back now, he wondered if that had been the best parenting technique. Sure, it was a lot better than the emotional neglect and physical abuse that he’d suffered, but at least he hadn’t grown up thinking the world revolved around him the way Dawson had. That worldview hadn’t done Dawson a whole lot of favors… Pacey flinched away from that thought. It felt disloyal to be critiquing the Leerys for their parenting skills when Mitch was gone, and unable to defend himself. And the man had been a loyal husband and father. The kind of father Pacey thought someday he might want to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stole another glance at Joey. She was staring at him, and she blushed when he turned his head toward her, but she didn’t look away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t beat yourself up about things you can’t change, Jo.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take your own advice, Pacey.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled. “Take advice from you? I’m not sure that’d be wise. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> the same girl who told me that girls weren’t attracted to boys who wore deodorant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joey laughed. “It’s not my fault you were dumb enough to believe me,” she retorted. “You have three sisters, Pacey. One of them should’ve clued you in. Besides, you were using half a can of Axe body spray every day. I was just trying to get you to ease off so you weren’t walking around in a cloud of toxic chemicals.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On the bright side, it did work pretty well as Joey repellant for a while there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As if you needed any extra help to repel me,” she grinned. “The burping and farting and incessant teasing did that all on its own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you know what they say. You always tease the ones you love.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joey looked at him sideways and smiled. “How do you do that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You always know what to say to make me feel better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pacey frowned. “Not that I don’t appreciate the compliment, but I don’t think that’s true. I can specifically remember a few times when what I’ve said has made you feel much, </span>
  <em>
    <span>much </span>
  </em>
  <span>worse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joey leaned her head back against the headrest of the car, and watched the headlights coming toward them. “Can we not talk about that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They drove in silence for a while. Pacey could’ve kicked himself for bringing it up, but he’d needed the reminder as to why they weren’t right for each other. Because in that moment, driving through the night with her by his side, he was starting to forget. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joey spoke again first. “Just for the record, what you said earlier about Dawson was right. We can’t quantify the things we do for each other. It’s not a competition. And you and I -- we hurt each other badly. Don’t argue with me,” she said quickly as he opened his mouth to respond. She knew he was going to try and heap all of the blame for their breakup onto his own shoulders, but she’d done a lot of soul searching over the past few months and she knew that wasn’t true. She’d played her own significant part in the breakdown of their relationship. “We’re both guilty parties in that. But we also made a lot of amazing memories and did some pretty incredible things for each other, and those are the memories I’m holding onto.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Forgetting the bad stuff, and only remembering the good?” he asked, remembering their conversation from a couple weeks ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well.” She chewed her bottom lip for a moment. “It’s not that easy to forget.” She saw Pacey wince, and fought the urge to reach over and put a hand on his arm to reassure him. The desire to comfort Pacey when she saw that he was hurting ran deep in her bones, and no amount of distance was ever going to stop that. “But I’m trying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you shouldn’t bother.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joey glared at him. “Maybe you don't get to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last of the daylight had faded, and the night was black ahead of them. Joey leaned forward and looked up at the night sky. A smattering of stars were visible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remember that night on the boat when we tried to count the stars?” she asked softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I remember.” It was one of his favourite memories. Lying on the deck of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>True Love</span>
  </em>
  <span>, staring up at the stars with Joey snuggled up against his side, their legs tangled together as they gazed up into the star speckled sky. “You know, I regret a lot of things, but I’ll never regret any part of that summer. And especially not that night.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joey smiled. “Me, either.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She let the memory wash over her, the movement of the boat on the waves, the slight chill of the sea breeze at night, the way Pacey gathered her in closer, pulling the blanket over them as she’d started to shiver. Whispering in her ear, asking if she wanted to go inside, but she’d refused. She had never felt so safe, and content, and happy. And then Pacey had kissed her nose, and she’d tilted her head up and found his mouth with her own, and they’d laid there under the stars, exploring each other’s bodies in the slow, tender way that she’d loved so much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were approaching the Boston city lights, and Pacey slowed down and changed lanes. His heart felt heavier in his chest than it had all day. He thought he’d been coping pretty well with losing Mitch -- his grief was nothing compared to Dawson’s, of course, how could it be -- but the loneliness that had been consuming him since he’d arrived in Boston had lifted for a while. Seeing his friends again, despite the circumstances, had reassured him that however much he’d changed and grown up over the summer, they were still there, and still cared about him. His friendship with Dawson was still awkward, probably always would be, but Jack and Jen had welcomed him back with open arms, and Joey was still Joey. She was in college now, meeting new people and having all kinds of new experiences, but she still shrugged with one shoulder at a time, still tucked her hair behind her ear when she got nervous, still smiled out of one side of her mouth. Still made his heart ache with longing whenever she looked at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was glad he’d escaped from Capeside, but as they drove back into Boston, he felt that loneliness like a dark shroud ready to settle over his shoulders again. He’d made a few friends at the restaurant, of course, and on the boat over the summer, and there had been Melanie, who had been fun for the short term. But he couldn’t imagine himself ever really opening up to her, telling her his secrets, trusting her with his truth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You gotta tell me where to turn,” he said as they approached the exit ramp. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, you don’t know the way to your own boat?” Joey teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s technically not my </span>
  <em>
    <span>own</span>
  </em>
  <span> boat,” he reminded her, wondering why those words, meant to be spoken in jest, made his heart constrict. He still missed the </span>
  <em>
    <span>True Love </span>
  </em>
  <span>something fierce. “And yes I do, but I need to drop you off at your dorm first, remember?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pacey frowned. “What, you want to walk? No way, Jo. It’s not safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what I meant, Pace.” Joey chewed her lower lip, thinking. Then she took a breath and said the words that had been on the tip of her tongue all night. “I want to stay with you tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The car swerved slightly, and Joey gasped, grabbing at the door handle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.” He corrected the steering, his heart thumping in his ears. “You just kinda blindsided me with that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her eyes darted to look at him, then back again. “If you don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>me around, I--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Joey. I always want you around.” Pacey drove up to a set of traffic lights, slowing down as they shifted to amber, then coming to a stop before the light turned red. “I just--are you sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded. “I don’t want to be alone tonight, Pacey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart was thumping inside his chest. Every nerve ending in his body was alight. Pacey swallowed hard and tried to sound calm. “Don’t tell me you’ve murdered your roommate already.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joey rolled her eyes. “She’ll be there, but she’s not exactly the comforting type. And the thought of going back and explaining -- or trying to explain -- all of this to her…” She shook her head. “I’d rather just be with someone who knows me. And you know me better than anyone.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked at her, and she looked back at him hopefully, and he felt the blood rush to his groin. This was a terrible idea. He’d never wanted anything this much in his entire life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, okay. But if you change your mind, just let me know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear and giving him a shy smile. “Thanks, Pace.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any time, Potter.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was cold at the marina, and she was shivering as Pacey gave her his hand and helped her onto the boat. He hadn’t made her ask for permission to board, but he’d carried her bag from the car down onto the dock, and now his hand in hers was warm, although his palm was rougher and more calloused than she remembered. A thrill ran through her at the touch of his skin on hers, their hands fitting into each other’s as though they were always meant to be there, and he still held her hand the same way, gentle but firm, as though it was his life’s mission to hold her steady and keep her safe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is a lot bigger than the last one,” she commented as they went down the steps into the wood-paneled cabin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She does have that going for her,” Pacey agreed, slinging their bags onto the bench seat in front of the galley. “I haven’t strung any hammocks up yet, though. You hungry, Jo? Want something to eat? I don’t have much, but I’m sure I can rustle something up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She started to shake her head, then reconsidered as another memory surfaced. “Grilled cheese?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grinned. “Coming right up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joey fluttered her eyelashes at him. “You sure do know the way to a girl’s heart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not every girl,” he replied, opening cupboards. “Just you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later, Joey licked the last crumbs off her fingers and sighed contentedly. She pushed her plate away from herself and tucked her legs up underneath her, watching Pacey finish his food. There was something about the quiet domesticity of eating with him on a boat at night that was triggering all kinds of feelings inside her that she didn’t know what to do with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I kissed Dawson.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pacey almost choked on his crust, but he recovered quickly. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After graduation. After you left. I went back to him and I kissed him.” She didn’t know why she was telling him this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you telling me this, Jo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And there he went, reading her mind again. “Because I thought you should know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shrugged. “I don’t know. In case it comes up sometime. I don’t want you to be blindsided.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you thought you’d just blurt it out right now?” he asked. She shrugged, looking embarrassed, and he felt bad. “It’s okay. We broke up. You can kiss whoever you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not okay, though. I know how much I let Dawson come between us when we were dating. I was so determined to cling to his friendship that I let it destroy our relationship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That wasn’t entirely your fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joey fixed him with a glare. “Don’t you go blaming yourself. This is the </span>
  <em>
    <span>things that Joey screwed up </span>
  </em>
  <span>portion of the conversation, okay? I guess I’m just telling you this because I wanted you to know that I kissed him, and I felt nothing.” She watched the crease appear between his eyebrows. “I was in love with Dawson for a long time, and I’d convinced myself that we were meant to be together. When we did start dating, back when we were sophomores, I was attracted to him. I liked him, I liked kissing him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pacey shot her a pained look. “This sharing stuff is really fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.” She blushed a little. “But when Jack kissed me, I...I let him do it. Because he kissed me differently from how Dawson did. He kissed me like he meant it, like he couldn’t help himself. Looking back, I think that desperation that I felt stemmed from a different place than him being wildly attracted to me, and was more to do with him trying to prove something to himself, but when I went back to Dawson, that spark just wasn’t there. I told myself that it was my fault, that I’d ruined things by cheating on him, that I just had to work harder to get our relationship back where it should be. And then…” Her voice trailed off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Jo. I know what happened next.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sighed. “Yeah. Well, anyway.” She paused, furiously chewing her lower lip. “Do you remember when we were sitting down by the water, and you put your arm around me for the first time?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pacey nodded. The moment was seared into his memory. For the first time in history, Joey Potter had allowed him to comfort her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d expected you to make me feel worse, but you made me feel better,” she said softly. “I felt safe with you that night, which was completely unexpected. But you were with Andie, and I was still in love with Dawson. At least, I thought I was.” She sighed, resting her elbows on the table and looking at his empty plate. “As time went by, and we spent more time together, you broke up with Andie, and I started to fall for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not that I don’t like hearing it, but I do already know this, Joey. I was there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded, and changed tack slightly. “Do you remember when you kissed me on the side of the road?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He winced. “I do. I also remember you hitting me and yelling at me. Not the best first kiss a couple ever had.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joey frowned, shaking her head. “That wasn’t our first kiss.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Right.” He remembered now. “How could I forget? The </span>
  <em>
    <span>other </span>
  </em>
  <span>time you rejected me outright. Not to mention all those many times you refused to kiss me on camera for Dawson’s movie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She blushed. “I was stupid. And we could barely stand to look at each other back then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speak for yourself. I might not have enjoyed your company, Joey, but I always liked looking at you.” He grinned. “Especially when you were in a bikini.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She opened her mouth to object, then narrowed her eyes as her lips clamped shut. “You perve.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pacey shrugged. “I was fifteen, Jo. What d’you expect?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes. “Anyway. Our first kiss was outside the B&amp;B, and I was still way too hung up on Dawson to even consider kissing you back. And over a year later, you kissed me on the side of the road, and I was so angry with you because the way you kissed me, it was completely different from the way Dawson had ever kissed me. Different from Jack, and AJ, too.” Pacey grimaced at the mention of the college guy. “You kissed me like I was the only thing that mattered, like you’d been waiting your whole life for that moment. When those other guys kissed me, it felt...nice. When you kissed me, it was like…” She frowned, struggling to find the words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like what?” Pacey asked huskily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She splayed her fingers out. “Fireworks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled. “You felt those, too?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded. “Being with you felt so different. I’d never been so turned on in my entire life.” She was blushing again, but she kept talking. “You always made me feel so good, Pacey. I told myself that I hadn’t felt that way with Dawson because we’d been so young and inexperienced, that you’d just come in at the right time and you knew what you were doing already. I was blown away by how strong those feelings were for you, and after we broke up, I missed that. And after you left, I felt...numb. And Dawson was right there, and I knew he wanted me back, and I guess I just wanted to feel something again. So I kissed him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not even a sparkler.” Pacey couldn't hide the enormous grin on his face, and Joey scowled across the table at him. “I’m not telling you this to boost your ego. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this, exactly. I guess I just wanted you to know that I didn’t kiss Dawson last summer because I always wanted to be with him instead. I kissed him because I missed you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boat creaked as it shifted on the gentle swells. Pacey stood up and grabbed their plates. His heart was thumping in his chest, and the butterflies were back in full force. He didn’t know what to say to that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only when he was in the galley with his back to her did he find his voice. “I did the same thing. Not with Dawson, obviously. But I met a girl this summer, and we spent a lot of time together. Above and below decks.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that a euphemism?” Her teasing had a sad lilt to it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really. I mean, I guess it could be, but I meant it more in the literal sense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know. It’s okay, Pacey. I never expected you not to move on. And I met a guy at college last week, so...”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ouch. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Pacey put the plates in the sink and turned to face her, bracing himself against the counter with one arm. “That’s great, Jo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shot him a look that proved that she knew he was full of shit. She always knew. “His name’s Elliot. He seems nice, but--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No fireworks?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shrugged. “I haven’t kissed him yet. I’ll be sure to report back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They looked awkwardly at each other for a moment. He wondered if she was regretting her decision to stay. She sighed, then stood up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go look at the stars.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t see them very well out here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. But we can try, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stood on the deck of the boat, staring up at the dark sky. The stars were just the faintest glimmers of light, barely visible. Joey shivered, and Pacey stepped up behind her and wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. She hugged it to her, smiling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I just say one more thing?” she asked, staring out across the open water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I miss you, Pace.” She turned around to face him, the blanket still clutched around her shoulders. Her voice was soft as she made her confession. “I missed you all summer. I missed you before you even left. I kept seeing things that reminded me of you, or things I wanted to tell you about. Every time I had a horrible client at work, every time Alexander reached a new milestone, every time I heard a song on the radio that I knew you liked, I missed you.” She looked up at him. “Did you miss me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Every second of every day,” he whispered. “I still do, Jo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The faintest smile crossed her lips. “Me, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t stop himself. Pacey wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. Joey’s body melted against him, and he felt her burrow her face in against his neck. She was thinner than she had been when they broke up, her slender body a little sharper and bonier than it had been before. He closed his eyes, aching to run his hands over every inch of her, but his body -- and especially his groin -- was responding quickly to her closeness. Pacey shifted awkwardly back, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. He loosened his hold on her, and Joey lifted her head and looked up at him. Then she dropped the blanket to her feet, lifted her hands to wrap around the back of his neck, and pulled him in for a kiss. As their mouths connected, Joey’s hips rocked forward to press against his, actively seeking what he’d tried to hide from her. Pacey moaned softly into her mouth as she kissed him with all of the passion that he’d had for her on that long-ago day on the side of the road. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pacey lost himself in her kiss, refusing to consider what this meant, whether she was actually willing to try something again between them, or whether the whole possibility was just some kind of mean trick, but his mind wouldn’t let go of the truth. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She’s here because she’s grieving.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The knowledge hit him like a ton of bricks, and Pacey’s mood plummeted. He broke off their kiss, turning his head to get Joey to remove her mouth from his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She peppered his cheek with soft kisses, her lips making their way toward his ear. “Mm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She frowned, her hands moving from the back of his head to his shoulders as she slumped slightly in his arms. “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this really what you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She bit her lip, her eyes darting down to fix on his collarbone. He tightened his grip around her waist, trying to reassure her that he wasn’t rejecting her advances, just that he was unsure about the timing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you not want to?” she asked shakily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is nothing on this green earth that I want more than you,” he confessed. “But I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow morning and regret this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lifted her eyes to his again. “I won’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure about that?” he asked. “Because I know you’re grieving right now, and you were upset about Daw--” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pacey.” She pressed her hands to his cheeks, squeezing them tightly to prevent him from forming any more words, then leaned in and pressed a firm kiss to his lips. “Shut up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grinned wide, and she giggled as she softened her grip on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As you wish.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm not sure where this came from exactly, except that people on Twitter were sharing screenshots from 5x11 where Audrey and Joey were pretending to fight over Pacey, and Audrey accused Joey of sleeping with Pacey for the past three months, and I started to wonder about that. So maybe this won't stay a one-shot but for now this is just my idea of what happened after Mitch's funeral, when Pacey and Joey headed back to Boston together. Because season 5 should've been about Pacey and Joey repairing their broken relationship, not about Joey still being hung up on Dawson. In my opinion, anyway.</p><p>As always, this fic is named for and features Taylor Swift lyrics, because she clearly wrote this song for them and them only. </p><p>Hope you liked it! Please feel free to leave a comment below.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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